Spotless Mind
by FuckYouiShipJori
Summary: Tori and Jade go through a bad break up, and Tori decides she wants to forget it. She enlists a firm to erase Jade from her memory. When Jade learns of what Tori's done, she gets it done as well. But she regrets it when she realizes her memories with Tori meant everything to her. Can Jade fix things before it's too late or will she let her mind drown in a sea of dying memories.
1. Chapter 1

**_"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot?_**

 ** _The world forgetting by the world forgot._**

 ** _Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind._**

 ** _Each prayer accepted,_**

 ** _Each wish resigned."_**

 ** _-Charlie Kaufman_**

I blinked the tears from my eyes as I sped down the street away from the city dump. A box of her stuff dumped out in the backseat as I drove over a speed bump, I cursed under my breath but I couldn't slow down. I should know better than to speed in the rain, but I can't really bring myself to care right now. I bit back another sob that threatened to leave my mouth. It's been three months, you'd think I'd be over it by now. But today...I don't...I just... The tears started pouring out in full force, I wanted to scream. My heart ached so much, how could she just kiss him right in front of me? Did I really mean so little to her? Who was he even? My car screeched to halt at a stop light, the radio played the CD she bought me in the background.

 _The thought of it makes my stomach turn,_

Envisioning him sliding off your shirt

And when he climbs on top,

Do you see my face and wish that it would stop?

I sucked in a shallow breath as I let the lyrics sink in. The pain was too much, it was suffocating me. I smashed my fist into the radio, the CD skipped. I ignored the pain in my hand and then continued to beat up my car, violently punching the steering wheel. I just needed to hit something.

"How could you?!" I sobbed out. I screamed and then started banging my head on the steering wheel instead of my fist. I tried desperately not to think about him with his lips on my girl, but the thought kept replaying over and over again in my mind. A few cars started honking behind me, I had half a mind to ignore them but I knew I needed to get home. I drug my eyes back up so that they looked at the road, and squinted so that I could concentrate. The song was still playing; mocking me so I threw the CD out of the window as I continued to drive down the road. I started to turn on to my street and panic snuck in. I can't...I can't go back there just to be alone another night. I puffed out an exaggerated breath. God, when did I get so pathetic? When you started to fall for her, idiot.

"Tori...look at what you've done to me." I whimpered, resting my head on the steering wheel and letting out a pitiful squeak. A tap on my window caused me to almost jump out of my skin.

"Jade...are you coming in?" Cat asked, her red hair sticking to her face curtesy of the rain. I just stared blankly at her, when did I get to Cat's? I thought I was on my street... Cat blinked at me, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Jade...you know you live in the apartment building across the street right? You said you wanted to come hang out with Robbie and I today..." Cat explained slowly, as if I were a child. I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes, smudging my eyeliner. I sniffled and looked up at Cat.

"How could she?" I whimpered, busting into sobs once again.

"Jade..." Cat said, her voice so soft. My door opened and her arms were around me in an instant. Before I knew it I was in the Shapiro house, sitting at their dining table with a steaming mug of coffee in my hands. Robbie kept shooting me sympathetic looks while Cat sat across from me listening to me rant about Tori.

"I went to go make things right, y'know? Valentine's Day is coming up and I wanted to fix things...I went to Virtuoso's to apologize to her, but she acted like she had no idea who I was," I paused to take a sip of coffee and just so happened to catch the look Robbie was giving Cat. It was one of those knowing looks people gave each other when they knew something others didn't, I couldn't help but feel like I was on the outside of an inside joke or something. I quirked an eyebrow but said nothing of it.

"On top of that, some random jackass kissed her right in front of me like he's been a huge part of her life-"

"Wait what? You didn't hurt him did you, Jade?" Cat asked interrupting me. I smirked and casually shrugged my shoulders.

"He might find the breaks from his car missing, and all of the windows knocked out. But there were no physical injuries..." I said with a sigh. Cat looked at me with a disappointed expression but I simply shrugged. I swirled the brown liquid in my cup in contemplative thought.

"I finally got around to gathering up all her stuff today...after that little incident this morning, I was actually on my way to the dump. But I just couldn't do it, y'know? I spent four years of my life with her, you can't just throw that away...I don't understand how she could...she's Tori...she's emotional, sensitive, sweet Tori. She was mine-" I choked off with a sob. Pushing my coffee away, I dropped my head on the table and let the tears fall.

"Fuck it, I can't take this anymore." I heard Robbie say abruptly, then I heard shuffling and a drawer being opened and slammed shut.

"Robbie, don't. It's not our business-"

"You're right, it's not our business. It's Jade's, it's her life. She has a right to know!" He hissed, interrupting Cat. I heard Cat scoff before I'm assuming she stormed off. I felt something jab the side of my ear, so I lifted my head up to glare at the former ventriloquist until he shoved a piece of paper in my face. I glanced at it for a second before my eyes snapped back to him.

"What is this?" I asked. He just waved it more frantically in front of my face, his eyes flicking pointedly from me to the paper. I huffed and then pricked the paper from his hand. My eyes slowly read each line carefully, I blinked twice before rereading to make sure I didn't read wrong.

 _Dear Catarina and Robert Shapiro,_

 _Victoria Vega has had Jadelyn West erased from her memory. Please never mention their relationship to her again._

 _Thank You._

My eyebrows rose and I shifted my gaze to Robbie.

"Is this some kind of fucking joke?" I hissed at him. He faltered a little shaking his head frantically.

"No, Jade, I swear they have an address at the bottom." He said, turning on his heel and following after his wife.

The next morning found me stood outside a small law firm looking place. I glared down at the paper in my hands, then back up at the small building with LACUNA INC. on the top window. I fixed my beanie, then angrily clutched the collar of my jacket before stomping through the door. Walking into the small firm, I looked around. Some of the tension melted away from my body, due to the heat in the place. I noticed first hand that this place, although small, looked at least a little professional. There was a small waiting room with crying patrons holding boxes filled with stuff in their laps. The woman at the reception desk hadn't even noticed me as she was to busy jabbering away on the phone. She was a husky woman with skin the color of milk chocolate and an intimidating face. Her desk was messy, paperwork strewn all over it. The paperwork had food and coffee stains on them, it made me scrunch my nose a little. Vega was always one to try new things, no matter how bizarre or unsanitary. I squared my shoulders then approached the desk, paper in my hand felt like it weighed more than me.

"I'm Jade West, I have an appointment with Mr..."

"Sikowitz." The receptionist offered, looking up at me for a second with eyes that seemed to cut through my soul. She tilted her chin up to me then thrusted a clipboard with a paper stained with mustard on it in my direction.

"Fill this out, and he'll be with you in a moment." She said. I made a disgusted face at her.

"Look, lady-"

"Helen." She corrected, not even bothering to look up at me as her fingers flew furiously across her keyboard. I bit down a growl.

"Look, **_Helen_** , I don't need to fill out any stupid paperwork. I just want to talk to the freakin' leader of this operation." I said giving her my famous Jade West glare, should've been enough to make her pee her too tight pants. Her eyes cut to me once more, her jaw clenching.

"Look, young lady-"

"Jade." I snarled with a hint of mockery. Helen rolled her eyes.

"Look, **_Jade_** , if you want to see Dr. Sikowitz then you'll have to fill out the paperwork like everyone else or you can just take your sorry behind home." Helen said, shoving the clipboard in my hands. We stood there glaring at each for a few moments before I let out a growl of frustration and snatched the clipboard from her. I stomped over to an empty chair, plopping down next to a woman who was snotting all over the place. I sneered at her than happened to glance over at Helen who was shooting me a smug smile. I flipped her off in response.

The questions were all dumb and useless but I filled them out anyway, just so that I could throw the clipboard at Helen when I was done. It took forever for Dr. What's-His-Face to see me. People came and went, hours ticked by, which upset me because there weren't that many people in that place and I'm pretty sure Helen was doing it on purpose. She disappeared to the back for a moment and then returned with a sickly sweet smile on her face.

"Dr. Sikowitz will see you know." She said, nodding her head toward the back.

"Finally." I hissed, jumping to my feet and stretching quickly. I shot Helen a fierce glare as I passed her, but she simply smiled at me. To make matters worse she insisted on escorting me to the Doctor's little office, that I was perfectly capable of finding on my own. Some black kid with dreads and a white lab coat bumped into me in the hallway. He gave me a sheepish smile, that I returned with a glare. I wasn't in the mood for anyone's shit today. I pushed passed him and made my way into the office. A homeless looking man sat behind a metal desk. He had balding hair that was just short of turning gray, his clothes looked tattered and dirty, the most peculiar thing about him though was that his just drinking out of a coconut. Like it was the most normal thing in the world. He smiled at me once he noticed my presence, quickly he put his coconut down and straightened up.

"Hi, Miss..."

"West, Jade West." I growled at him. His smile seemed to drop a bit at my tone.

"...Alright, Miss West, what can I do for you?" He asked. I stormed up to his desk, he leaned back frowning. Glaring into his soul, I shoved the paper that Robbie gave me into his face.

"Explain to me what the fuck this shit is!" I snarled at him. His eyes broke away from mine to look at the paper. His eyes widened as he gently took it from me. After awhile he set it down on his desk with a sigh.

"I am sorry, Miss West, you were not supposed to see this." He said, just barely looking at me. I crossed my arms over my chest and flipped my hair out of my face.

"It's not real, right? It's all just a joke? Because there's no way in he-"

"It's very real, Miss West, I assure you." He said, sighing again.

"Miss West, our files are confidential so I can't really show you any evidence but it was pretty evident that Miss Vega was not happy and she wanted to move on...We provide that possibility." He explained gently, looking at me with these sympathetic eyes. I nodded numbly, before standing abruptly. I ran my hands down my face and let out a long sigh. She wasn't happy? I mean, I know I wasn't the greatest person in the world but I gave her all I had. Was it so serious that she had to erase me from her memory completely? Seemed as so.

"Miss West, will you be alright?" Sikowitz asked standing up. I merely looked at him, before walking like a zombie out of his office.

It was dark out by the time I finally made it home. With shaky hands, I managed to fit the key in the hole. The door hit the wall with a loud thud, I kicked it shut behind me. I trudged to my bed and then dropped down on to it. I brought my pillow up to face and hugged it. The loud sobs echoed around my apartment, I cried until I fell asleep. The next morning when I woke up my head hurt and my throat was dry and sore. At work I was on autopilot, whenever someone talked to me I merely offered an incoherent mumble in response. The drive home was met with a haunting silence, I refused to turn on the radio. Stopped at a stoplight; halfway home, I made a split second decision and rushed to LACUNA. My brakes screeched loudly as my car jerked to a stop in front of the firm. Quickly I exited my car, and sprinted passed Helen. I wrenched out of her grasp as she tried to stop me.

"Miss West!" She exclaimed, chasing after me as I ran down the hall to Dr. Sikowitz's office. I nearly knocked over a crying woman as she and the doctor were just exiting the office. Helen grabbed my shirt and roughly yanked me away from the two.

"Sir, I am so sorry. She just pushed right past me." Helen started explaining, her breath panting out in short breaths.

"I want it done right away! If she doesn't have to suffer through this then neither do I!" I yelled at Sikowitz. He looked taken aback for a second, his eyes shifting back and forth between Helen and I.

"You, young lady, need to leave before I call the police-"

"No, that's quite alright, Helen." Sikowitz said.

"But, sir-"

"Why don't you take care of Mrs. Wu, goodbye Mrs. Wu." Sikowitz said handing the elderly woman off to Helen. Helen nodded obediently, but shot me a glare nonetheless.

"Miss West, would you like to come in and sit down?" Sikowitz asked, outstretching his arm and pointing to inside of his office.

"I want her erased from my memory." I murmured. He put a gentle hand on my shoulder, pulling me into his office and shutting the door.

"I know, I know. But there are a few things that have to happen first-"

"I'll do it, whatever it takes." I said, my voice shaking. Sikowitz nodded a small smile crossing his face.

"It's nothing too serious, Miss West. You just need to collect everything that reminds you of Victoria. We'll use these items to create a map of Victoria in your brain, okay?" Sikowitz asked. I nodded eagerly waiting to hear more.

"And from there we'll use the map to erase her from your memory. All the while, you'll be asleep in your own bed. And when you wake up in the morning, you won't know that Victoria Vega ever existed."

Since I already had a lot of her stuff in a box in my car, there wasn't that much left in my house that reminded me of her. Sikowitz words from earlier that day remained in my mind as I shifted through my entire apartment.

 _"We'll need photos, gifts, clothing, CDs she may have bought you, diary entries-"_

 _"I'm not some stupid little fuckboi that keeps diaries laying around in my apartment." I had interrupted him, giving him a threatening glare._

 _"Urm, yes...well, anything that reminds you of her, we'll need. You'll want to empty your home, and your life of Victoria." He said seriously._

I opened a drawer in dresser and picked up the small scrapbook that Tori had made me when we first started dating. I flipped through the pages and felt my heart clench in my chest. All of the pictures brought back old memories, good memories of us being happy together. The way we smiled and looked at each other in the pictures, you would've never thought... I let out a broken sigh and then slammed the scrapbook close.

'She erased me first, obviously our relationship meant nothing to her.' I thought to myself before shoving all the remaining items in the box.

I carried the very full box into the firm, Helen told me to take a seat once she saw me. I grumbled to myself as I plopped down in between a busty blonde and a bitchy looking brunette. The blonde shot me a flirty smile, which I curtly ignored.

"How're you doing today, Miss West?" Helen asked from her desk, in a sugary tone that seemed forced.

"Well, my ex girlfriend erased me from her memory and now I'm doing it so that I don't have to go through the pain of missing someone who clearly doesn't give a shit about me, so I'd say I'm pretty fucking peachy." I told her in an overly happy voice. She rolled her eyes and put on a tight smile.

"Good to know you're doing great." She said dryly.

"Eat a dick." I responded. Sikowitz appeared shortly after Helen and I's little banter. He put a hand on her shoulder and then called my name, giving me a light smile. I rose to my feet and followed right behind him back to his office. I set the box on his desk and then backed away from it. He glanced at me every so often as he looked through it.

"Is this all?" He asked. I fidgeted slightly.

"Uh, not quite..." I said. I hesitated before reaching into my back pocket, my hand wrapped around the small black box. It was fuzzy and soft, and weighed like a brick in my hand. I opened it, the beautiful diamond sparkled dazzlingly at me. My finger traced it softly, my mind drifting back to what could have been. I tilted it back some getting one last look at the engraving: _Tori And Jade West, always all ways_

I let out a long sigh before slowly reaching out and placing it on top of the pile in the box. My fingers lingered on it for a few seconds, but eventually I let go.

"I never got the chance to...she left before I could." I cleared my throat and turned my face away from the box to look at Sikowitz, my breathing was all messed up because I was trying really hard to keep from crying. The doctor looked at me with sad eyes but let a small smile cross his face.

"Alright, let's begin."

He escorted me through the tight hallway, speaking quietly every so often. We came to a stop at a plain looking door. It swung open to reveal the black kid from the other day. He adjusted his glasses and plucked the joint from his mouth to blow out some smoke. Sikowitz shot him a disappointed look, and the boy straightened up.

"This is André Harris, he's one of our best neuro-engineers and he'll be handling your case tonight." Sikowitz said, coughing slightly either from the smoke or embarrassment I didn't know. I looked at André who grinned at me.

"Sup." He said simply, extending his hand to me. I looked at the two men skeptically. Sikowitz gave me a comforting smile.

"Don't worry, you'll be in good hands." He said, putting his hands on my shoulders and then leading me away from André.

"My name is Jadelyn West, and I'm here to erase Victoria Vega from my memory." I said into the tape recorder, glancing up at Sikowitz.

"Why don't you tell me about Miss Vega? Where did you meet her?" His soft voice asked.

"In a coffee shop in Montauk. I heading out and she was going in, she wasn't looking where she was going. She bumped into me, spilled my cup all over my shirt. Vega was always such a klutz." I smiled fondly at the memory.

"She apologized a lot, I don't think I'd ever heard anyone say sorry so many times in one sentence. She even offered to buy me a brand new cup of coff-"

There was a sudden loud noise right next to me, causing me to jump and trail off. My head snapped in the direction of the noise, a man not much younger than me looked up at me with a sheepish smile as he quickly tried to gather up the things he had dropped. I noticed that it was the box of Tori's stuff and I trained a glare on the man. Although awkward he was kind of attractive, short jet black hair and bright blue eyes. Kinda reminded me of myself.

"Be careful with that stuff." I hissed at him. He scared too easily, he was practically trembling as he stared back up at me.

"Ryder!" Sikowitz hissed. The man jumped and stood up, the box and all of its contents back in his shaky hands. He nodded dumbly then hastily made a break for the door. There was something familiar about that man, I just couldn't place my finger on it. Sikowitz let out another sigh, I swear fifty percent of this man's vocabulary consists of sighs. The rest of the time there was spent with Sikowitz telling me a bunch of doctor words that I didn't know the meaning of, then the pot head put a bunch of Tori's things in front of me and asked me to focus on the memory they brought up. After I was done there, I stopped off at a drug store and picked up some pills that Sikowitz said would help me sleep. I walked through the lobby doors of my apartment building, stopping by my mailbox. One of my creepy neighbors, Burf, stopped by and tried to strike up a conversation.

"Hiya, Jade." He said cheerfully. I glanced sideways at him as I picked up my mail.

"Valentine's Day is coming up, Sinjin and I might just stay in. Are you planning anything for Tori?" He asked. I sucked in a breath and tried to ignore the pain in my chest.

"No." I grounded out through clenched teeth. He balked as if I hit him, which seemed tempting.

"You haven't made any reservations or anything?" He asked, his eyebrows reaching his hairline. I let out a slow ragged breath.

"I'm going to bed now, Burf. Tell your creepy boyfriend to stay out of my mailbox." I grumbled, shoving the lock of Sinjin's hair he left me in Burf's face. The tanned man jumped slightly and gingerly took it from me. He swallowed and offered a hesitant smile. I glared at him one last time before stalking down the hall to my apartment. Tiredly, I threw open the door. I left behind a trail of my clothes, choosing to just sleep in my underwear. With a pill and a glass of water in my hands, I sat down on my bed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was it, no more thoughts of Tori Vega plaguing my mind. I popped the pill into my mouth the water quickly following. Opening my eyes, I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding in. I blinked a few times but I didn't feel any different. But then my eyelids started to feel heavy, and I could barely keep my head up. Before I knew it, my back hit my bed and I slipped into unconsciousness.

 **(A/N: Sup, guys. This is just a little something to help me get back into Jori, I've been a little out of it lately.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, or Spotless Mind by Dayseeker.)**


	2. Chapter 2

_I stumbled into the apartment, knocking over a few things from a shelf. I winced at the loud sound, and tried to tiptoe my way through the dark apartment. I staggered to the kitchen, rinsing my mouth out in the faucet. Sighing loudly, I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. I trudged to the cabinet and picked up the aspirin. The light flicked on and I jumped, I turned to see my girlfriend standing there in her underwear with her arms crossed over her chest and a peeved look on her face._

 _"Jesus, Tori! You scared the shit out of me. What the hell are you doing lurking around in the dark?!" I hissed, glaring at her. Her eyebrows rose a little, like she couldn't believe I just said that to her._

 _"It's three o'clock in the morning,_ _ **Jade**_ _." She said, my name leaving her lips icily. My brow furrowed and I looked at the time to confirm this new knowledge. I turned back to her with an amused smile._

 _"So it is. Thanks for the newsflash, babe." I said then leaned over to kiss her cheek. She turned her face away from me, but I ignored it and simply pushed passed her._

 _"You stink like weed and whiskey." She hissed, following close behind me. I rolled my eyes as I entered our bedroom._

 _"Wonder whose party was it this time. Robbie's, Sonya's...Beck's?" She accused, malice dripping from every word. My head snapped in her direction at the mention of his name, a snarl set firmly on my face._

 _"Is perfect little Vega worried? Hmm? Worried we fucked?" I demanded getting in her face, she didn't back down. She never backed down._

 _"For all I know you have." She snapped, shoving me away from her._

 _"Maybe we did, maybe I was just tired of the same damn thing all the time. You get pretty boring after awhile, Vega. Maybe I needed some new scenery." I returned. Harsh, I know. But this was her fault, if she would've just left it alone and let me kiss her none of this would've been happening. She scoffed but didn't look at me, she didn't have to. I know my words got to her, I saw it in the way she flinched. I sighed and went to her, wrapping my arms around her middle. I pressed a soft kiss on the back of her neck._

 _"Are we finished? Can we go to bed now-"_

 _"Don't touch me!" She hissed, wrenching out of my grasp. She stormed over to her side of the dresser and quickly grabbed some of her clothes out of it. She threw them on so fast I could barely register what was happening. After she was fully dressed she left the bedroom in a hurry, plucking up her car keys as she went._

 _"Those are my car keys..." I mumbled dumbly. I ducked quickly as the keys were hurdled in my direction._

 _"I'll be back for the rest of my clothes tomorrow." She interrupted, her voice vacant of emotion. Panic seized me, my heart was beating rapidly in my chest. I chased after her as she started going around the house._

 _"Tori, wait! I'm sorry, baby, you know I didn't mean it right?" I asked desperately._

 _"Then why did you say it?" She demanded, ducking out of my reach and snatching her jacket up off the couch._

 _"Because I..." I trailed off because she disappeared, literally. One minute she was there the next she wasn't. I stared blankly at the empty living room._

 _"I'm tired of hearing your excuses, Jade. Congratulations, now you can fuck whoever you want." Her voice sounded from the front door. I jumped and looked in that general direction to see the door slamming shut._

 _"Tori!" I screeched, running after her. As I entered the hallway, I noticed that it was extremely dark and Tori was nowhere to be found._

 _"Tori?" I called out, my pulse rising with my panic. My eyes searched the hallway, desperately looking for a way out. I took the stairs two at a time as I jogged down them, when I burst out of the doors to the building the air didn't hit me like I thought it would. Tori was already power walking down the side walk._

 _"Tori!" I yelled at her, she ignored me and kept walking down the street. A few mumbled curses shot of my mouth as I hopped in my car. The tires squealed as I sped after her. I pulled up along side of her, slowing down to match her pace._

 _"Vega, get your ass in this car right now." I growled at her._

 _"Fuck off, faggot." She replied. I rolled my eyes at her childish behavior._

 _"Faggot, really? Nice, real mature. Seriously, Tori, it's almost four where are you going to go?" I asked._

 _"No, Jade! You're not going to try to manipulate me into staying with you, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you, you did this to us." She hissed, her voice ragged and sharp, cutting like a blade. I slammed on the brakes, staring at her back in shock. My heart felt like it was just torn in two. I jumped out of the car but she seemed to be disappearing in the darkness._

 _"I'm erasing you, and I'm happy about it! You did it to me first!" I called out to her in a last ditch effort to try to make her come back. I tried to run after her but she was already gone..._

 _I should've fought harder for her._

* * *

"Got it!" André yelled out victoriously, he rubbed his cramping wrist and shot Ryder a smirk. The other man gave him a forced awkward smile, and got up to walk around the woman's apartment. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he looked at the very disheveled place.

"It's kind of a dump in here, smells like one too." Ryder said to André, the dark skinned man glanced at him.

"It's an apartment, dude, what do you expect? Anyway, Sherry's coming over tonight." André said, a smug grin on his face. Ryder returned it.

"Really? That's cool. I like Sherry, I get the vibe that she doesn't really like me though." Ryder said meekly, looking down at his twiddling thumbs. He went back over to take his seat next to André. André shrugged turning his attention back to the computer monitor.

"I think she likes you just fine." He added his input. Ryder chuckled a little.

"Maybe I should invite my girlfriend, I have a girlfriend now. Did I tell you-"

"Do whatever you want, man. Hey, hand me a beer would you?" André interrupted, tapping on the keyboard again. Ryder nodded incessantly, his hands flying toward the cooler. He got two slim green bottles out and handed one to his partner.

"Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend-"

"Ryder, man, I'm trying to focus here..." André interrupted yet again, a tight frown tugging at his lips as he lifted the beer bottle to them.

"Yeah, yeah, sorry..." Ryder trailed off, his knee bouncing anxiously up and down.

"It's just, our situation is a little weird. My girlfriend situation." Ryder continued. André snorted and put his beer down, dragging his attention away from the monitor to look at his partner.

"I'm sure it is." He said dismissively, hoping that would be the end of it. Ryder frowned deeply, clearly offended.

"What? A girl can't be attracted to me, is that it?" He demanded. André inwardly groaned, he hated being set up with Ryder mostly because the other man talked too damn much.

"It's not that, I'm sure girls have no problem being attracted to you. It's just...you're really fucking awkward, man." The darker man said with a frustrated sigh. Ryder chuckled a little.

"So who do you think is better looking me or this chick?" He asked with a smirk, nodding his head at a sleeping Jade. André looked at him with disbelief.

"This chick is insanely hot, dude, obviously her." André answered. Ryder scoffed at him but his smirk remained.

"You, uh, remember that girl we did awhile ago?" Ryder asked, André huffed in exasperation.

"We do how many people a day? I'm not going to remember all of them." He explained logically.

"The Latina with the skulls and scissors, dude." Ryder elaborated. André's eyebrows rose.

"Yeah, uh, Tori...Tori Vega, right? That's, uh, that's her girl, isn't it?"

* * *

 _ **"-Tori...Tori Vega, right? That's, uh, that's her girl, isn't it?"**_

 _My eyes widened, I looked over at Tori. We were sitting at our dining table, eating leftovers. She raised her eyebrows at me._

 _"What?" She questioned._

 _"You didn't hear that?" I asked. She rolled her eyes at me._

 _"Stop trying to change the subject, Jade. We need to do something for our anniversary this year. Did you want to go up to Montauk? We could visit our coffee shop." She suggested a ghost of a smile gracing her lips. I frowned._

 _"Why do we have to_ _ **do**_ _anything? It's not that big of a deal." I stated shoveling more of the spaghetti into my mouth. She looked at me in disbelief._

 _"Are you serious? It is a big deal, Jade!-"_

 _"Not to me!" I hissed, in my defense she started yelling first. She had been getting on my nerves lately with all of this. She gasped and leaned back in her chair. I rolled my eyes at her, god she was so over dramatic._

 _"Wow nice, Jade, really nice." She whispered bringing her knees up to her chest and circling her arms around them. I mentally cursed as I got up out of my seat, she was crying already. I knelt down in front of her and kissed her elbows._

 _"I'm sorry, Vega, it's just-"_

 _ **"Yeah, well, her ex anyway...I kinda...I kinda fell in love with her that night."**_

 _I paused looking around the dining room. Who the hell was that? I stood up and walked to the room's entrance looking around the corner. Nothing._

 _"What the fuck..." I said aloud, looking back into the dining room. Tori was gone, our plates were gone, her chair was gone._

 _ **"What?! She was unconscious, dude!"**_

 _I started running frantically through my apartment, searching high and low for these voices but I couldn't find them. Who were they? Where were they? Why was one of them talking about being in love with my Vega?_

 _Suddenly I wasn't running through my apartment anymore, I was sitting on my couch with Tori cuddled into my side. She was shoving handfuls of popcorn in her mouth as some black and white horror movie played on the t.v. I sneered at her because she was chewing so loudly. Ugh, I hated it when she did that._

 _"God, do you mind?" I hissed at her. She jumped and looked up at me with this wounded puppy expression._

 _"I'm not doing it on purpose, Jade. It's just how I chew..." She explained, raising an eyebrow at me. I rolled my eyes at her before turning back to the T.V._

 _"Then stop eating it." I commanded, pulling her deeper into my side. She scoffed loudly and shrugged arm off of her before getting up and sitting on the other side of the couch. The loss of warmth made me frown and I didn't care much for her attitude either. She started eating the popcorn again and chewing loudly on purpose. I turned to glare at her but she was gone..._

* * *

"She looked so peaceful, she was beautiful...I kinda stole a pair of her panties too..." Ryder trailed off, a hint of a smile on his face. He got up to walk around again turning his back to his partner. André whirled around in the rolling chair to shoot an incredulous look at his partner.

"Jesus!" André breathed out, staring at Ryder like he was insane. The other man looked a bit confused at his friend's reaction.

"What? I mean it's not like...they were clean at least!" Ryder hurriedly defended himself.

"What the fuck, man! Don't tell this stuff, dude, I don't want to hear that shit!" André hissed, dumbfounded and somewhat creeped out.

"They were clean!" Ryder tried once again to defend himself.

* * *

 _ **"Stop it, just cut it out alright?!"**_

 _I blinked, then looked around at my surroundings. I was in our apartment again, sitting on the edge of our bed._

 _"What?" I mumbled aloud staring at Tori in confusion as she stood in front of me glaring._

 _"I said stop it, this whole jealousy thing is getting old. You could've seriously hurt that boy, Jade." She scolded, strutting away from me and into the bathroom. I shook my head as I got up to follow her into the bathroom. She was doing her hair, getting ready to go to work at the record store._

 _"He was asking for it, looking at you like he wanted to undress you." I snapped at her, defending myself._

 _"He's a guy, Jade, that's what they do." She retorted whilst blow drying her hair. I unplugged it so that she could hear me when I yelled at her._

 _"Hey-"_

 _"Nobody gets to look at you like that, okay? You're mine." I said, my glare softening slightly. She started smiling and then leaned in to kiss me, automatically I kissed back._

 _"You're sweet even when you are being mean." She mumbled after pulling away._

 _ **"There's, uhm, there's more...the morning after we finished the erasing I kind of...I kind of went to where she worked and asked her out."**_

 _I poked my head out of the bathroom and looked out toward the bedroom. Those goddamned dudes were back. I glanced back at Tori but she didn't seem to have heard anything. She had turned back to the mirror to finish blow drying her hair._

 _ **"You what?! Jesus, Ryder, do you have any idea how unethical...?"**_

 _"Could you go get my shirt? It's in the drawer." She said, pecking me on the lips quickly._

 _ **"What? I don't see what the big deal is."**_

 _ **"You've probably upset the balance of freaking nature or something!"**_

 _I started walking through the apartment again, searching for these people. I went in and out of the kitchen, the dining room, the bedroom, it sounded like they were in the living room. But when I checked, no one was there._

 _"Seriously, Jade? You couldn't have done this one thing for me? I do stuff for you all the time! 'Go get this for me, Tori.' Okay, Jade! 'Go get threat for me, Tori.' Yes, Jade! 'Make me coffee, Tori.' Right away, Jade! I'm starting to feel less like your girlfriend and more like your servant-"_

 _"Shut up, Vega!" I hissed at her, interrupting her mid-rant as she rustled through the dresser._

 _"There's someone here, he stole your underwear." I explained to her as she shot me a look of incredulous. She rolled her eyes._

 _"Whatever, Jade, I'm going to be late for work. Besides, I don't see anyone." She said dryly, pulling her shirt over her head. Normally I would have stopped to ogle her in her bra but right now I was freaking out. When she said that she sounded like a cd when it skipped. My heart started pounding in my chest because she disappeared right in front of my eyes._

* * *

"I mean it's not that bad-"

"Ryder, you stole a girl's panties!" André interrupted, looking at his friend with wide eyes. Ryder snorted.

"Its not that bad...why're you looking at me like that? Get that look off your face." Ryder said. There was a moment of silence before both men started laughing.

* * *

 _I inwardly groaned as Tori went on and on lecturing me about my so called "drinking problem". We were sitting on the couch, not really doing anything but just talking._

 _"If you want us to work, Jade, you're gonna have to fix it." She huffed, and nudged my shoulder._

 _"Are you even listening to me?!" She cried, frustration evident in her voice._

 _"I'm trying really hard not to." I stated honestly. She scoffed and turned away from me._

 _"I honestly can't believe you sometimes...I'm starting to wish I hadn't gone into that coffee shop that day, that I wouldn't have met you and then fallen in love with you!" She said, sticking her tongue out at me. I know she was just messing around but that comment hurt. I let out a quiet chuckle._

 _"Me too. Beck didn't nag me as much as you do." I mumbled. There was always an unspoken rule in mine and Tori's relationship and it was to never mention Beck. But anytime we had a huge argument or pushed each other over the edge too far, his name always found a way into our conversation. The silence stretched on for long than I anticipated. I was starting to get a little worried, she just sitting there eyes glued to the floor. Finally she let out a hum of acknowledgement._

 _"I think I'm going to go stay at Cat's tonight then." She muttered. She got up slowly, and then made her way to the bedroom. Fuck._

 _"Tori." I started, getting up to follow her like always in our arguments._

 _"Nope, no. I'd hate to stay here and nag you any longer." She stiffly._

 _"Jesus fucking- It was an accident, okay? Why the hell do you take everything so goddamn seriously all the time?" I spat at her. She slammed the bathroom door shut and then opened it again seconds later. She brushed right on by me, purposely knocking into my shoulder as she went. I caught her wrist before she could go any further._

 _"Vega-"_

 _"Let go, Jade. We don't have a whole lot of time left." She said cryptically, tearing her wrist out of my grasp. My eyebrows shut up in confusion._

 _"Huh?" I said dumbly. She raised her eyebrows at me as she started packing up random things in an overnight bag._

 _"You're erasing me from your memory, remember?" She reminded me._

 _"I...but..."_

 _"I don't think I've ever seen Jade West speechless before." She said with a hint of amusement. I noticed that random things were starting to disappear from the apartment right into thin air. It seemed like I was on autopilot as I walked over to kiss her. When did she get to the door._

 _"Nope, I'm too much of a nag, remember?" She said putting her finger up to my lips and ducking away from me. She shot me an amused smile as she opened the door._

 _"Bye, Jade." She said, before closing the door behind her. What the fuck was going on?_

* * *

 _I'm actually really surprised that this got any kind of attention XD I thought you guys forgot about me. But nah, this is gonna be a multi-chap. It's not gonna be exactly like the movie,but you'll see simularities :3_


	3. Chapter 3

The doorbell rang echoing throughout the apartment causing the two technicians to jump. Ryder sprang up and nearly tripped over his own two feet to answer it. He swung open the door, a smirk in place.

"Oh...hi, Ryder." Sherry said, unable to keep the annoyance out of her tone.

"Hey, Sherry, how's it going?" He asked pleasantly. She rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore him and then pushed passed him all the same. She grinned when she André and hopped into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled slightly.

"God, it's freezing outsi-"

He cut her off with a kiss. Ryder chuckled quietly as he walked around them and took his seat on the other side of the computer.

"Hot." He mumbled, looking away from them. Sherry pulled away to glare at him, André cleared his throat.

"You find this place, okay?" He asked his girlfriend.

"Yeah." She answered, André twirled the chair back around so that they were facing the computer. André held out his beer to her but she made a face.

"You don't have anything good?" She said in a disapproving tone. André smirked at her.

"Well, haven't raided the kitchen yet. Ryder?" He said, looking to his coworker, Ryder hopped up immediately.

"No, no. I'll get it myself." Sherry said climbing out of her boyfriend's lap and heading toward the kitchen. Ryder slowly took his seat again.

"Sherry hates me, I told you. Never had much luck with getting women like me, it's easier just getting them to sleep with me." Ryder said with a casual shrug. André chuckled and shook his head.

"Maybe if you'd stop stealing their underwear." The darker man suggested playfully. Ryder breathed out through his nose in amusement.

"There's more." He murmured after awhile, scooting closer to André so that they could talk quietly.

"No." André whispered shaking his head.

"Yes."

"No."

"Dude! Who else am I going to talk to about this?"

"Stop it, I told you I didn't want to hear anymore." André hissed, his voice just below a whisper. Sherry appeared then, strutting into the bedroom with two glasses of red wine.

"This chick gots the good stuff." She said, grinning as she handed André one of the glasses. She looked to Ryder then frowning slightly.

"Oh...you didn't want any, did you?" She asked him.

"Oh, uh, no. That's okay." He said, fidgeting awkwardly. Sherry gave him a fake smile then turned to André, sitting back in his lap. She raised her glass to him and waited for to do the same.

"Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders." She said, they clinked their drinks together and then took separate sips. Sherry hummed in content at the taste.

"That's Nietzsche, by the way. I found it in my Bartlett's." She said, placing a soft kiss on André's cheek. He smiled at her then set his cup down and returned to his work.

"What's a Bartlett's?" Ryder asked, suddenly intrigued.

"It's a quote book, Ryder." André mumbled his answer. Sherry smiled and cuddled more into André, she crossed her legs accidentally hitting the cooler. The beer bottles rattled but other than that no damage was done. She chortled, cover her mouth with her free hand.

"You can't wake her up, can you?" She asked looking at Jade's unconscious body. Ryder chuckled.

"No, you can't wake her up." He answered.

* * *

 _I fought the smile that was trying to sneak it's way on to my face. Tori kept pressing soft kisses on my neck, working her way up to my jaw._

 _"Wakey Wakey, Jadey." She said in a sing-songy voice. I frowned at the nickname but didn't open my eyes._

 _"Coffee." I mumbled. I heard Tori sigh and then the wonderful smell of coffee reached my nostrils. I smiled happily and then opened my eyes grabbed the cup. I sat up in bed so that I could drink it, Tori was just laying next to me staring at with her head propped up by her elbow. Out of nowhere she leaned over and kissed my temple._

 _"I love you." She whispered against my head. I looked at her suspiciously as I set my now empty mug down on the table next to the bed._

 _"What did you do?" I questioned. I felt her smile and then snake her arms around me. She moved her body down so that could put her face in my neck._

 _"I have to do something for me to tell you I love you?" She retorted. I smiled and rolled my eyes._

 _"No, but that's stereotypes for you." I said._

 _"Well, I haven't done anything. I just felt like I haven't said that in awhile." She mumbled. I chuckled quietly._

 _"You said it yesterday." I pointed out, looking down at her. She opened her eyes and squinted at me, I was greeted with my favorite shade of brown._

 _"It should be said everyday. Speaking of which,_ _ **you**_ _haven't said it in awhile." She said quietly, putting emphasis on "you". I shrugged._

 _"I figured I didn't need to, you should already know." I answered. She frowned and sat up._

 _"Well, yeah but it's nice to hear it." She argued. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, I laid back down and pulled the covers over my head._

 _"We're not going to argue about this." I told her._

 _"It's not always easy knowing how you feel, y'know? You don't talk to me about your feelings anymore. We're growing apart, Jade, I can feel it." She said yanking back the blanket so that I had to look at her._

 _"Oh my god, Vega! Just because I don't say I love you all the freaking time like you, doesn't mean that we're growing apart." I hissed at her. Her eyes were glaring at me now._

 _"Why can't you just say it? It's not that hard, I love you Jade. See? I can say it, why can't you?" She demanded._

 _"Because I haven't really been feeling like it lately!" I yelled at her, my temper reaching its limit. She's going to take it the wrong way._

 _"Oh." She said quietly. She didn't look at me anymore, just crossed her arms over her chest and stared ahead of us. I sighed._

 _"I didn't mean it like that-" I tried but she shimmered and then faded away. I swore silently when I noticed that I wasn't in my bedroom anymore, but instead outside a fancy looking restaurant. I looked in through the clear windows to see Tori seated alone at white clothed table. She kept checking the time on her phone with a disappointed expression. I went to the door then, almost too anxious to go in. I just knew she was going to lecture me again. But because I'm not a little bitch, I sucked up my nerves and waltzed in through the door confidently. I strutted passed the host who seemed to glare at me as I went. I didn't apologize for my tardiness as I took the seat across from Tori._

 _"Hi." I said to her, picking up the menu and examining it. A waiter started to pass us but I quickly got his attention, I closed the menu and then handed it to him._

 _"I'll take a medium rare steak with mashed potatoes and a scotch on the rocks," I paused and looked at Tori, who was outright glaring at me._

 _"Did you already order?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow at her. She took a deep calming breath and then turned to our waiter._

 _"Cancel the scotch and bring her a water instead. I'll have an iced tea and a Caesar salad." She said handing her menu to him. My jaw dropped as I gaped at her, I snapped it shut real quick then turned to the waiter._

 _"Don't you dare cancel that scotch!-"_

 _"Ignore her, late people don't get to order the kind of drink they want." She said throwing a glare at me that dared me to say something. The waiter tried his best not to smile in amusement but I could see the corners of his lips twitch. He simply nodded and then made his way back toward the kitchen. I turned my head to the woman in front of me with an obvious death wish._

 _"First of all, how fucking dare you-"_

 _"No, how fucking dare you, Jade!" She hissed, leaning over the table so that she could lecture me quietly. I stared at her in stunned silence._

 _"You don't get to be two hours late for our anniversary dinner and then act like a bitch. If anybody has a right to act like a bitch it should be me. You're not ordering alcohol, you're going to sit right there and apologize to me for making me wait. And then you're going ask me how my day was." She hissed. She flipped her hair and then sat back in her seat, looking at me expectantly. I hide my amusement well, as I straightened my shoulders and regarded her curiously. This was one of the reasons I loved her, she didn't take my shit._

 _"I'm sorry I kept you waiting, there was a line at the-"_

 _"Ah-bub-buh! This isn't about you, ask me about my day." Tori interrupted. I had to sigh so that I wouldn't smile._

 _"How was your day, Tori?" I asked, dragging out her name in a way I knew would get on her nerves. She ignored that and jumped right into a full blown story about how horrible her day was._

 _"And then I had to sit here in this dress waiting for my asshole of a girlfriend for two hours, and she did finally get here she acted like a bitch." She finished, glaring at me._

 _"Well," I drawled letting my eyes drag up and down her figure. She was wearing a fit black dress that cut off mid-thigh, giving me a nice view of those beautiful tan legs._

 _"You look gorgeous." I murmured, making sure my voice dropped to a seductive level. She blushed and finally let a smile grace her face._

 _"I hate you." She mumbled looking at me with a forced glare._

 _"Well that's unfortunate. Because I love you." I said smiling widely at her, then pushing a velvety rectangular box across the table in her direction. She grinned as she picked it up. Opening it, her eyes brightened and her smile widened. Delicately, she picked up the sparkling two carat diamond necklace and fastened it around her neck. There was a little silver music note charm on it that matched with the rest of the necklace. It took me quite some time to find it._

 _"Jade..." She breathed, touching it fondly._

 _"That's why I was late." I said simply, there were tears in her eyes as she looked at me from across the table._

 _"Jade, this is just wow I can't believe..." I frowned as her voice was drowned out by a sudden loud beeping. Like someone was dialing a number in a phone up at the ceiling but nothing was there._

 _ **"Hey, songbird!"**_

 ** _"Oh, Ryder, it's you. Why...why're you calling from an unknown number?"_**

 _That voice was back again and it seemed to be talking to Tori but she her voice was faint, like they were talking on a phone. I shot the Tori that was in front of me an alarmed look, but she seemed more interested in the food that arrived out of nowhere._

 _ **"You sound upset, are you crying? What's wrong?"**_

 _ **"I don't know...I just feel so confused right now."**_

 _ **"Why're you confused, baby? Everything's fine."**_

 _At this point I was already up and out of my seat, looking for this goddamned voice that thought it was okay to call my Tori "baby". All of a sudden I was in Virtuoso's watching Tori and some guy kiss again. He looked so familiar, I swear I've seen him before. I turned back around in the direction that I came but Tori was gone and so was the restaurant._

* * *

"I just...I feel like I'm disappearing." Ryder listened to Tori over the phone, his brow creasing in concern.

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby." He said in a soothing voice, hoping it would calm her. Her heard her let out a long sigh.

"Can you come over? I need to feel real, I need someone to tell me that I exist." She asked. He looked back at André who was engrossed in the task at hand.

"There's another one gone." The darker man mumbled. Sherry had disappeared into the kitchen in search of food. Ryder pulled his face away from the phone and covered the speaker with his hand.

"André, do you mind if I leave for a bit? My girlfriend is really upset." Ryder said, his coworker looked up at him frowning.

"Ryder, we're in the middle of erasing this poor woman's-"

"Let him go, babe, I can help! How hard could it be?" Sherry said around a mouthful of chips, she walked into the bedroom.

"See? She hates me, she wants me to go." Ryder reasoned with his friend. André grinned at him, the idea of him and Sherry being alone now in the front of his mind.

"Go." André said finally, nodding with a greedy look in his eyes.

Ryder returned his grin and then put the phone back up to his ear.

"Hey, songbird, I'll be over in a little bit." He said into the speaker.

"Hurry please." Tori pleaded desperately.

* * *

 **So, the italics are Jade's memories. And the bold italics are the people speaking in the conscious world, because y'know Jade is asleep. I thought it was pretty self explanatory but some of you had trouble. Also, I'll explain in the next chapter why Jade calls Tori "songbird" spoiler alert it's because she sings** ㈵9


	4. Chapter 4

_"Darling are you lost adrift at sea?_

 _There is an anchor tied to your ankle that begs to watch you sink._

 _Is the bottom of the ocean where you want to make your bed?"_ _Tori sung quietly to me as we laid cuddled up in a lawn chair on the deck of her parents' beach house in Montauk. My right arm was draped across her torso, her arms were wrapped around me. I smiled contently against her neck. I loved her singing voice, it had such volume and melody. She didn't sing very often, mostly in the shower or to the occasional good song on the radio, but when she did it always put a smile on my face. My little songbird._

 _"Songbird..." I murmured aloud, opening my eyes. A sudden realization dawning on me, I sat up quickly. Her arms awkwardly flailed around and the blanket that was on us slipped a little._

 _"Jade, why'd you do that? I'm cold." Tori whined pulling the blanket back over herself. I guess she did have a right to complain, we were in Montauk in the beginning of February_

 _"How does he know to call you that?!" I demanded. She pushed the blanket back a little to squint one brown eye at me._

 _"Who?" She asked, her voice muffled by the blanket._

 _"That guy!" I shouted at her, she wasn't taking this seriously._

 _"What guy?" She asked, the side of her face I could see scrunched up in confusion._

 _"I don't know, Vega! The freaking guy that was kissing you!" I hissed at her. She rolled her eyes._

 _"I don't know what you're talking about, Jade." She mumbled pulling the blanket back over her face._

 _"Vega, you have to take this seriously! Someone is trying to," I paused mid sentence as I ripped the blanket off her and she was gone. I put my head in my hands and groaned._

* * *

 _"Do you think we'll last, Jade?" Tori asked me quietly, getting up on her elbows to look me in the eyes. The comforter slipped off her shoulders and pooled up at the dip of her back. She glared at me as I had a hard time focusing on her face and not her exposed chest. I cleared my throat then met her eyes with a frown._

 _"Of course I do, why would you ask something like that?" I asked. She frowned and laid back down next to me, turning on her said so that she could still look at me directly. Some of her fell in her face, I pushed it gently away and smiled at her._

 _"It's just...nobody's ever really stuck, y'know? But I really like you and I really want us to last." She murmured, blinking her doe eyes at me. I tried not to think about how adorable she was when she did that so I could focus on a reply._

 _"Just like, huh?" I asked with a small smirk. Her lips curled and then she balled her fist and punched my shoulder._

 _"Hey!" I cried out, wincing at the slight pain._

 _"You know what I meant! I'm laying here telling you my insecurities and all you have to say is "just like, huh?" Idiot! You know I love you!" She said, hitting me repeatedly in the shoulder._

 _"Quit it! That shit hurts and I don't have a shirt on to shield me from your freaking baby punches." I said, leaning my shoulder away from her._

 _"Baby punches? Do you want me to keep going?" She threatened, raising her fist up again._

 _"Okay, Tori! Jeez!" I said pushing her fist away. She narrowed her eyes at me then rolled on her back and stared up at the ceiling. I smiled and leaned over her._

 _"Did you say you loved me before?" I asked. She blinked up at me and then started blushing. She looked away from me and crossed her arms over my chest._

 _"Why miss sweet Sally peaches just admitted she was in love with little ole me, I am ever so lucky!" I yelled out dramatically in my southern drawl I used to imitate her voice. She covered her face with her hands._

 _"I don't talk like that!" She whined. I got up on my knees, grabbing one of her hands I interlaced our fingers before bringing it up to my chest and holding it there._

 _"We must alert the whole town of this new declaration, on this wondrous day! Victoria Vega has said she loved Jadelyn West first!" I yelled loudly, furthering my teasing. Below me, Tori groaned, looking up at me with half her face covered._

 _"Why're you like this?" She mumbled. I grinned down at her._

 _"Cause your reactions are funny." I said simply. She stuck her tongue out at me but I quickly leaned down and kissed her. Her eyes widened and she made a sound of surprise, but it didn't take long before she closed her eyes and started kissing me back. She pulled away quickly and glared at me._

 _"You could say it back so I don't feel like an idiot, y'know?" She hissed. I smiled down at her, my eyes half lidded._

 _"I love you too." I murmured, settling on top of her._

 _"I love you too." I repeated, trailing kisses from her chest to her jaw._

 _"Jade-"_

 _"I love you too." I said again, cutting her off. I kissed her cheek._

 _"I love you too." A kiss to her other cheek._

 _"I love you too." A kiss to her temple._

 _"I love you too." A kiss to her forehead._

 _"I love you too." A kiss to her nose._

 _"I love-"_

 _"Don't ever leave." She whispered, cutting me off and kissing my lips. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she pulled me impossibly closer to her. Please let me keep this one, just this one. I fell flat on the bed, blinking in confusion I looked around but I couldn't find Tori. Stupidly, I started ripping off the blankets and looking for her there. Tears were starting to spill out from my eyes and I started panting._

 _"Sikowitz, please!" I yelled at the ceiling._

 _"Please..." I whimpered._

* * *

Ryder walked hastily to his girlfriend's house, knocking on the front door gently. He smiled brightly at Tori, but it dropped as soon as he saw her tear strickenEd face.

"Baby, what's wrong?" He cooed, he went in to hug her but she stepped back and trudged into the living room.

"I don't know," She mumbled, plumping down on the ottoman.

"I just feel like I'm disappearing, like I'm going to fade away soon." She cried, a new stream of tears falling down her face.

"You're not disappearing." Ryder said, chuckling awkwardly as he say down next to her.

"Nothing makes any sense to me anymore, I feel lost like I don't belong in my own skin." She sobbed, getting hysterical.

"Oh, songbird." Ryder whimper sympathetically, he pulled her into a bone crushing hug. He rubbed her back soothingly, hoping it would comfort her.

"Nothing makes any sense." She mwhimpered into

"What can I do?" He asked desperately, rocking her back and forth. Tori sniffled and pulled herself out of the hug to look at him.

"Let's go somewhere, I need to stop crying. You want to go up to Montauk?" She asked, her eyes pleading as they searched his.

"Montauk-"

"Yeah, we could go to this cute little coffee shop there! Or no, we could go to Boston! Yeah, we could go and lay on the Charles River and star at the stars!" Tori said getting up, leaping at the chance to get out of her house and it's depressing air.

"Uhm, yeah. Did you want to go tonight or-"

"Tonight! We have to go tonight!" She called interrupting Ryder and walking out of the room in search of better clothing. He checked to make sure she was completely out of the room before he quickly unzipped his book bag and started rooting through all of Jade's mementos he had stuffed in there. Finally he found the scrapbook and looked through it so fast and desperately he almost tore a few pages out. He found the page he was looking for. On it was a picture of Jade and Tori laying on something, he guessed the Charles when it was frozen, and a piece of paper taped next to it with a detailed paragraph written on it.

"Me and Jade on the frozen Charles, Valentine's Day 2013. Blah, blah, blah. 'I could die right now, Vega, and I'd be just happy. I've never felt this way before, not with Beck or anybody. I'm just exactly where I want to be." Ryder mumbled quickly to himself, as he recited the quote. He wanted to memorize it so that he would know exactly what to Tori.

"What's that?" He jumped at the sudden sound of Tori's voice. Tori stood in the doorway of the living room, a curious look on her face as she smiled at him.

"It's, uh, it's not important." He stammered as he tried to blindly shove the scrapbook back in his bag. He stood up quickly and shot her a nervous smile. Her eyebrows furrowed a now hesitant smile on her face.

"Uhm, okay...weirdo." She said, then plucked her keys up off the hook by the door.

"Ready to go?" She asked as she turned to him with a grin. He quickly picked up his bag and started shuffling through it again.

"Yeah, I uhm, I got you something though." He said nervously his hand rising out of the bag in it a little black box. He shakily handed it to her, smiling awkwardly. She gently took it from him and opened the box, her jaw dropping.

"I...I...Uhm, Ryder-"

"Happy early Valentine's Day, do you like it?" Ryder asked hopefully. Tori's panic filled eyes flickered up to him then back down to the ring in the box.

"Ryder...it's beautiful. But, uhm, isn't this kind of soon? I mean, we've only been together for three months." Tori said, glancing between him and the ring. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion before the look of confusion turned to a look of horror.

"No! Oh God! Uhm, it's just like a normal ring. I'm not proposing or anything!" He said quickly.

"Oh, well in that case it's very gorgeous." Tori said chuckling a little, her heart rate slowing down some. She picked the ring up out of the box and lifted it up to examine it. Her brow furrowed and a confused frown tugged at her lips.

"Who are Tori and Jade West?" She asked looking over at Ryder. He started panicking again.

"What?" He asked, his voice cracking. Tori handed the ring back to him and pointed at the inside.

"The engraving. It says Tori and Jade West always all ways." Tori elaborated, she looked like she thinking hard about something. Ryder's heart was practically beating out of his chest, he searched his mind desperately for an answer of some sort.

"Uh, stupid engraver! He gave me the wrong ring, I'll take it back and get you a new one tomorrow, okay?" He said, searching her face for any sign of disbelief. He found none but he didn't like the thoughtful look she was sporting now either. She looked up at him and the nodded absentmindedly.

"Ready to go?" She asked, clearing her throat and blinking a few times. Ryder nodded eagerly.

* * *

" _C'mon, you'll love it. I promise." I said as I pulled a reluctant Tori with me to the frozen Charles river._

 _"I don't know, Jade. Are you sure it's safe?" She asked, her hand squeezing mine in a death grip._

 _"Why're you asking me this? You're the one who said you wanted to see it." I said grinning._

 _"I meant in the summer, in the daytime, when its water not a frozen death trap at night!" She hissed. After lots of coaxing and promising that the ice wouldn't break Tori finally took her first step on the ice. I watched with amusement as she took small baby steps on the ice._

 _"It's not even slippery." I said, her grip on my hand tightened as we walked painfully slow._

 _"I'm not worried about that! I don't want to fall through and die!" She whined. I rolled my eyes._

 _"You're not gonna fall through and die, you'll get hypothermia and then die." I clarified. She whipped her head in my direction and glared at me, if she wasn't holding onto me I'm pretty sure she would've hit me._

 _"How far are we going out anyway?" She asked._

 _"To the middle." I answered. She let out this little whimpering sound and latched herself onto my arm. I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop the smile that formed on my lips. When we reached the middle I let go of her and the plopped down on my back to look up at the sky. My hands were folded on my stomach, and my hair was fanned out under my head._

 _"Jade, what're you doing?!" Tori hissed as she stood above me with her hands on her hips._

 _"The view from down here is great, songbird." I said, smirking up at her. Her eyes narrowed and smacked her lips._

 _"You can't distract me with flattery." She said. I feigned ignorance, looking up at her with mock confusion._

 _"I was talking about the stars. God Vega, self centered much?" I asked with a playful roll of my eyes. She nudged me with her shoe, then walked around to the other side of me. She hesitantly sat down next to me, before laying down on her back._

 _"If I die..."_

 _"I'll play something nice at your funeral." She elbowed my side and I chuckled. Her gloved hand slowly grabbed one of mine, she caressed mine with her thumb. I looked over at her and noticed that she smiling as she looked up at the stars. The moon light reflected in her hair, and for a moment it looked like she had her own stars in her eyes. Her skin was so flawless, her face was a bit red from the cold but she still looked stunning._

 _"Beautiful." I whispered._

 _"They are, aren't they?" She asked. I felt my face heat up slightly and I coughed awkwardly, glancing at her for a moment before looking back up at the stars._

 _"I think I see the Vega star, actually." I said, looking over at her after awhile she met my eyes with a look of disbelief._

 _"Yeah, right." She said sarcastically. I shook my head at her._

 _"No, seriously look. It's right there." I said, pointing up at some random star._

 _"Where?" She asked, her eyes searching the night sky eagerly._

 _"There." I said, pointing again. She glanced at me then looked back up, a small smile resting on her face._

 _"I'm glad we did this." She whispered._

 _"Me too." I agreed, she put her head on my chest and nuzzled into me, I smiled and rested my chin on top of her head._

 _"Did I tell you that my parents used to bring me and Trina down here when were kids to fish."She said._

 _"Oh? Did you catch anything?" I asked. She let out a soft chuckle and then I felt her shake her head._

 _"No, we sucked. But dad would always take us for ice cream afterwards so that made it worth it." She said. I laughed and then sighed in contentment. I couldn't explain why I was so happy, it was just in this moment with her looking up at the stars in the freezing cold made me feel so light._

 _"I could die right now, Vega, and I'd be just happy. I've never felt this way before, not with Beck or anybody. I'm just exactly where I want to be." I murmured softly to her, kissing her hair. She didn't anything for awhile and I didn't want to look over because I knew that meant she would be gone._

 _"Tori?" I called softly, my voice cracking. A feeling of dread settled in my stomach when she didn't answer. I wrapped my arms around myself and sobbed._

 _"I take it back! I want to call it off! Please! I don't want her gone!" I yelled out through my sobs. I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood on my feet._

 _"Can you hear me, I know you're there! I want to call it off, please someone wake me up! I don't want this anymore!" I yelled at the sky but was met with silence..._

* * *

Ryder smiled at Tori from where he laid next to her, and looked up at the night sky.

"I could die right now, Vega, and I'd be just happy. I've never felt this way before, not with Becky or anybody. I'm just exactly where I want to be." He said quietly to her. Tori sprung up, sitting there with a large frown on her face. Ryder looked at her, worried.

"I want to go home." She said, a look of discomfort on her face.

"What? But we just got here!" Ryder cried, his eyebrows rising to his hairline. He tried talking to her but she was already up and walking.

"Wait! Was it something I said? Songbird!" He called after her, scrambling to keep up with her. Tori whirled around, fury dancing in her eyes.

"Don't call me that!" She hissed at him. Ryder flinched as if she hit him.

"But I always call you songbird...what's wrong, Vega?" He asked, taking a step toward only to have her back away from him.

"Don't call me that either! It just feels wrong, like someone else should be calling me that-"

"What? That doesn't make any sense. Tori please, let's just go back and we can-"

"No! I need to go home, alone! I need to be alone." Tori said, turning around and stalking to her car leaving a very confused and nervous Ryder behind.

* * *

 **I'm glad some of you know that this is actually a movie, I wouldn't suggest it though. I didn't like it very much, it looked low budgeted and I've never really like Elijah Wood or Jim Carry. Reviews are my best friend and they speed up the update process.**


	5. AN

**I am so sorry guys, I haven't updated in forever! I just have no idea what to do for the memories anymore. Give me some ideas, please? I need like 3. Thank you for your patience~ He's Just Not Me's new chapter is almost done btw :)**


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